Let go and Let God

 “Let Go, Let God (A Surrendered Song)”

"In most cases holding on does more damage than letting go

I know this in my head, but tell that to my soul."

   I’ve been clenching pain like a lifeline,
Fingers wrapped tight 'round the thorny vine,
Thinking if I hold it long enough

    It’ll turn into purpose, or peace, or love.
But pain is not a seed that grows good fruit.
It depletes and poisons the root. 
And God’s been whispering, "Child, it’s time… let it go."

“Cast your burdens on the Lord, and He will sustain you.”
(Psalm 55:22)

But I didn’t want to
I wanted to understand it.
To analyze the ache,
To make sense of the betrayal,
To replay every scene of my heartbreak
Like I could rewrite it through regret.

But all it ever gave me… was heaviness.

And God…
God don’t speak through chains,
He speaks through release.
Through peace that surpasses
Even my trauma’s loudest screams.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28) My test....

So I’m here now…
Not polished, not perfect, just present.
My wounds are still raw, but my spirit 
Ready.

Ready to stop bleeding in secret.
Ready to stop calling the storm shelter.
Ready to stop idolizing pain
Like it’s the only thing that ever stayed.

I surrender.
I lay my wounds at the altar
Like a broken offering,
Not knowing if You’ll take it
But praying You will.

Because what I’ve been doing… ain’t healing me.
But You
You’re the Balm in Gilead,
The Resurrection and the Life,
The Light that says, “You don’t have to die inside.”

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
(Psalm 147:3) something I'll definitely be experiencing soon

So here’s my pain, Lord.
Take it.
Here's the bitterness that made my tongue a blade
Break it.
Here’s the grief I wear like skin
Replace it
With Your garment of praise,
Your rivers of grace,
Your holy embrace.

I let go.

Not because I’m strong…
But because You are.
Because Your mercy rewrites scars.
Because Your love bends low
To pull me out of dark waters,
Like You did for Peter when he doubted the wave
And started to drown.

“Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.”
(Matthew 14:31)

So reach for me now.

Catch me, carry me, cleanse me.
Reshape me with Your holy hands.
I’m clay again.
I’m open again.
I’m Yours again.

This time, I don’t just want healing…
I want You.
Not just the miracle
But the Miracle Worker too.

“Behold, I make all things new.”
(Revelation 21:5)

So make me new again, Lord.
Not in part… but whole.
Let every broken piece
On bended knee before Your throne.
I surrender.
I let go.

I let God.